It’s been a long time, and so much has happened. Come in and join me for a cup of chai, and I know that I’ll keep waking up as we visit. In many ways, I feel like I’ve been asleep these past two years, and am currently in that awakening period when you realize you are no longer asleep, but not fully awake. The dawn is breaking through your window panes and you know it’s a brand new day. I’ve been figuring out this past month how I fell asleep, and why, and what to do now as I’m me again.
When I say I’ve been asleep, I mean that I haven’t been doing things around our home, like dishes, laundry, sweeping/vacuuming, and overall keeping my home in order. Many of you might have noticed that. What you may not have know was that I also had lost my creative side two years ago, and it’s finally come back. Of course, it’s in full force and wanting to do all sorts of crafty things. The kitchen counters now have no idea what to do now that they are cleared from dishes most days (although we were gone all day, so don’t look tonight 😉 ). And I still haven’t tackled laundry (meaning that it is always done, and I’m working to put it away before I do another load a few days later.)
It was fun reading my previous blog posts and remembering back. Right after that last one, following the holidays, I had our precious first daughter. That is a long story, and would take it’s own post. In short, God gave us our sweet little one via c-section after 12 hours of pushing. We had begun the labor of 26 hours at home with a midwife (she is a large part of what makes the story long), and Amanda Grace’s poor head got stuck. God was with us every step, and He made her a strong girl, who is now a fun child. We just celebrated her second birthday, a fun tea party with family and friends (not chai lattes, but maybe next year). Something we hadn’t thought about that resulted from having a c-section was that we weren’t allowed to get pregnant for 6 months, with the recommended waiting time being a year. We unknowingly became pregnant 11 months later (anyone who has become pregnant but still had a period the following month understands our surprise to find we had a 9 week baby inside). 🙂 9 months later God gave us our lovely second daughter, who arrived naturally after another crazy labor that was an adventure. Aimee is now 5 months old, and at the fun stage of reaching out and grabbing things, as well as entertaining herself by rolling over. 🙂
I ended up with post partum depression after Amanda was born, and it was 6 months before I started feeling normal again. I think that added to the feeling of being asleep the past two years, as well as all the hormones involved, and the business of being a newlywed, and new mother. I realized something was bothering me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I knew I should probably clean/organize, but I had zero energy, and no strong reason to change. It dawned on me about a month ago when the girls and I were sick for 3 weeks (after being sick for 6 weeks in the fall), that I wanted to change things around and take control of my home. The concept of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom, doing a hard but rewarding job, has been in my head my whole life, but it never made it to my heart. I realized that after years of doing other jobs with the mindset of doing them to the best of my capabilities, I wasn’t really viewing my life as a SAHM as important as other jobs. I also was trying to live in our home similar to my previous 10 years of being a single woman in that I unknowingly thought of home as a place to relax in the evening after a hard days work. So dishes could be left until tomorrow, as could cleaning, and picking up. I also was used to being gone all day, so I filled up the last 2 years with fun trips anywhere and everywhere. Being home was boring to me and my daughters, so I decided we’d go elsewhere. I’m working on all of these things now. The climax hit me in the middle of this last bout of sickness, when I was so stressed my eyes were being affected. I finally went in to the best optometrist in Spokane (who also happens to be my amazing father-in-law) to get glasses. After multiple tests, he said I didn’t need glasses, but my stress was causing my eyes to have problems. This is when I realized I needed to make some changes. He gave me some things to help with that, and a week later, I felt like cleaning the bathroom for the first time in 2 years. A few days later I tackled a part of the kitchen. When I went back for testing, my incredibly small tunnel vision had opened back up. I wasn’t as frustrated with my kids, and finally had the ability to multi-task again. It truly is like I’ve awakened. And now that I have, I want to live life to the fullest! I’ve been learning so many things this past month that I’ve wanted to share with friends who have asked, and so I have excitedly told three friends, and written four emails about what has been happening (and if you have received one from me in the past, you understand why I begin each email with the lines “You should grab a cup of tea before sitting down…”, and why I haven’t had time to write any in the past few years). I have also excitedly texted or talked to a wonderful friend and my incredible husband about all of my “light bulb” moments, and they have graciously listened. But there have been others who have wondered, and so after praying, I’ve decided to start blogging again to encourage not only newlyweds and singles, but young moms. I’m here living life, and learning along with you. But I’ve been realizing that unlike so many of the blog posts I’ve been reading lately written by young women that encourage women to remain in the same stagnant place in life, especially those of us young SAHM, I want to encourage you to walk step by step into giving your best to God in whatever you do. I also want to encourage you through podcast conversations with older godly women, as I am learning first hand the importance of listening to older, wiser women.
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2:3-5
I am not an “older woman”, although to anyone younger than 30 I am probably ancient. 😉 But I love to encourage women, and to help point them to God, the Bible, and help connect them with older women(be it how to find a mentor, relay advice I’ve heard that is worth passing on, or through books/podcasts/etc).
I’d love to hear your ideas and comments below, and any questions you’d like to learn about in the realm of life as a woman (I’ll make sure and ask the wiser women in the podcasts or guest posts). If you are happy where you are, I hope you will encourage other ladies, as there are many of us treading water. If you are like me, and have realized that there must be more than just surviving, and want to walk the road with me, lets start our new adventures today!
Please answer this question in the comments below: Have you had a time in life when you felt like you were asleep, or just awakened from a deep sleep? What was it that helped you awaken?